Male Validation in Modern Pop Music
Written by: Hayden Moscowitz
Edited by: Bridget Gallagher
In 2022, Sabrina Carpenter released an achingly personal and honest album titled emails i can’t send. Unsurprisingly, the most suggestive song on the album, “Nonsense,” was the one that garnered the most plays. This album, which should have been a major breakthrough, was largely left to her loyal fans and those who took the time to listen. Instead, her breakthrough came with Short n’ Sweet, an album in which it was impossible to escape innuendo and increasingly suggestive lyrics. She doubled down with her subsequent album, Man’s Best Friend, which faced controversy for its cover, depicting Carpenter on all fours in a subordinate position, reaching toward a man in a suggestive manner. The title and cover art leave the mind to make a particular association: Carpenter = dog, woman = dog.
This message is not the cheeky joke Carpenter may have intended. Instead, it is another example of the ways women can be sexualized to sell their music. The album cover and title seems contradictory to many of Carpenter's songs, which depict men as fumbling idiots who are only good for one thing, while portraying her as the person in control of each situation. She presents herself as a woman who simply enjoys sex and fun, but has spoken in interviews about how she is not entirely the person she appears to be in her music. It feels empowering to many to see a woman be this open and fun about her sexuality, something men have done for centuries. But comparing the vulnerable honesty of emails i can’t send—released when she had much less to lose—to her current massive fanbase, built in part around her increasingly sexual image, makes the latter feel slightly dubious.
I don’t blame Sabrina Carpenter for the trajectory of her career, and I don’t fault those who enjoy her music. Her wordplay is clever, her hooks are catchy, and her dark humor is presented with a bubbly charm. Her music is interesting and undeniably fun. In her eyes, and in the eyes of many women, she is both empowered and empowering, and her sexual liberation is for women, not men. While this is certainly plausible, it is impossible to ignore that her success has coincided with increasingly sexual displays and a move away from emotional vulnerability. Whether she believes she is or not, Sabrina Carpenter is playing into the male gaze, and male validation may be contributing to her commercial success.
The complexities of this concept are many and varied. What seems like empowerment may be another means of demeaning women. Whether it is picking out an outfit to impress a boy, dumbing down your words to be understood, making jokes at your own expense or the expense of other girls in order to receive some kind of praise from a man, the experiences associated with male validation are common. Many grow out of this need as they become young women, older women, and even old women. But many don’t. As current pop stars like Sabrina Carpenter sexualize their music and public image, amassing more fans as a result, it begs the question: What is the balance? How do you find the middle ground between honestly proclaiming what you want and maintaining your own dignity?
This trajectory is successfully explored throughout Audrey Hobert’s debut album, Who’s the Clown?, where girl becomes woman, and woman becomes individual. Each subsequent song represents a different stage of development in the life of a woman in her twenties. From the opening song, Hobert establishes herself as self-aware, almost impulsively honest, and beautifully flawed. The second track “Sue me” is named for the refrain, “Sue me I wanna be wanted.” This need for someone’s approval, expressed through wordplay that is equally unique and honest, progresses consistently throughout the album. The song “Thirst Trap” displays Hobert’s deeper descent into the cycle of male validation. She discusses the familiar experience of taking photos in which you look increasingly attractive so that someone may want you, while simultaneously feeling a deep sense of shame about doing it. “But now I'm lame, it's such a shame, I used to be so super cool,” Hobert sings. Each subsequent verse becomes more intense as Hobert becomes someone she dislikes in order to become the girl that ‘‘he’’ wants.
Hobert's darkest point in the album ironically comes from her song “Shooting Star,” in which she states, “He’s perfect/He treats me like shit/But I promise you, baby it’s worth it/’Cause it hurts me/And I’d rather be hurt when I’m drunk at the club on a Thursday." This represents a false sense of control over when and where she can get hurt. And no matter what, it is worth it, because she has someone who wants her. This is a major component of the cycle of abuse that can cause victims to stay, and it shows how the destructive search for male validation can lead to harmful relationships. As Hobert’s friends tell her it’s not a shooting star, not a fleeting moment of romance, she begins to recognize what is happening. In the following song, she begins to grow from the experience and returns the favor by offering that perspective to other girls.
In her last three songs, Hobert sings about the growth she has undergone and the lessons she has learned, which shine through in shimmering pop beauty and result in truly empowering music. Audrey Hobert proves that it is possible to depict the female experience without conforming to the wants of men. She proves that you can produce music that is undeniably fun, containing clever wordplay, catchy hooks, and bubbly dark humor, without losing yourself in the process. I have listened to emails i can’t send. I know what Sabrina Carpenter is capable of. I enjoy her new music, but it saddens me to reflect on the image she has built as a way to climb the Billboard charts. While sexual liberation is necessary, women also need liberation rooted in honesty and vulnerability. If this is not who Sabrina Carpenter really is, we don’t need to hear it. Empowerment comes from the truth, and if music is the vocalization of the soul, it should never be used as a means to please anyone besides yourself.
Comments